It’s been five months since I left my corporate career.

And honestly, the main reason I didn’t do it sooner was because one prevailing belief:

I thought that I had no other options, and that it would be the start of the end of my life.

I felt stuck and scared. Middle management can be a tough spot, and the big tech industry I was in was flailing (is flailing). There are thousands of younger, less-diverse candidates that I just can’t compete with. I have to suck it up and stick it out.

And at some point, I realized that was a total garbage thought.

Of course I would figure something else out. There are literally millions of options if I get creative and am open to them.

Then magic happened.

Layer by layer, I started shedding things I thought mattered to me a lot, without feeling like I was missing out on a single thing. I started to realize just the opposite – I have so much to gain.

Five months into this, and here are some things I have realized and/or doubled down on:

1. Having free time is so wonderful. And important.
2. Having free time can also be … kinda rough? Work is a great distraction from dealing with myself.
3. I don’t regret anything. ANYTHING. I wouldn’t change a thing – I learned so much.
4. And I am surprised just how much I valued career growth and even wealth, at times more than my true top priorities of self-care and family and friends.
5. I am not surprised why that is, when a majority of my time and energy were spent with people who thought similarly and corporate systems that supported those thoughts, even to exploit it.
6. Sustainable work is a unicorn. I choose to be that unicorn. And what I give up to do that doesn’t feel like a sacrifice in the least.
7. There is too much convenient, processed food in my kitchen still. I’m working on taking time to cook, and to eat, now that I don’t have to be in such a rush. It’s so hard, though, but the local farmer’s co-op helps.
8. I don’t like working out alone now that I’m not meeting with people all day long. And I don’t want to pay for a gym membership when I’m not making any money. I’m trying to sort this one out, still.
9. I am struggling to get back into reading for fun. I don’t remember how to relax into it and enjoy it. If it isn’t a technical brief, which I honestly have little interest in anymore, my brain still tells me it is indulgent and unproductive. Ugh.
10. I have to constantly work on seeing my worth more than how much I focus on my goals or differences. Awareness + Acceptance = POWER is my favorite equation still.

Speaking of equations, I’ve seen various ones for what’s required to overcome change, and they are roughly stated as this, which seems relevant to the point of leaving my career:

dissatisfaction x desirability x practicality > resistance to change

On top of my dissatisfaction with the state of my company and the industry at large, plus how much I wanted a different lifestyle, it took me spending some actual time and effort to understand how practical it would be to live without my salary and to exist without a title.

Once that last piece came together, my resistance to leaving fell away. Instead of my brain spinning around on all the possible horror scenarios of what my future without my career would look like, I put it to work actually detailing those out. And it actually wasn’t anywhere near as awful as I imagined it could be. And I could take stock of what I would like to do, and started brainstorming and researching all sorts of ideas instead of staying on the current path. It took time, but that is what finally did it.

The next time I need to re-align with myself should go a little more smoothly with all that in mind.

For now, though, some quick progress updates on me getting into the strength and wellness business:

• Instead of starting a new clinic-in-a-box, I’ve found one, possibly two clinics I can invest in and are interested in partnering with me and FYZICAL.
• I’m quite shocked at how expensive commercial real estate is, especially here in Southern Utah.
• Small business valuation is complicated and/or expensive, unsurprisingly but still alarmingly. And I learned of goodwill as an asset from a fantastic TED talk done by a friend of a friend, and it’s nice to see it show up as a line item in real life valuation models, with itemized details, even. I always want to center kindness and math together, and listen, to make things work.
• I’m also in awe of any single-unit operation that can break even, much less be profitable. I’ve learned so much about all that goes into running a business independently, and the importance of economies of scale and utilizing grants and cooperatives and any such resources.
• I’ve worked from home off and on since the late nineties, so long ago figured out how to separate work from home. But _not_ working a lot from home and just being home a lot is a completely different animal. Routines are even more crucial, when life is no longer dictated by my work calendar. And they have to include social interactions outside of the house some. Darn it, says my sweet little introverted heart.
• Ahead of my first FYZICAL clinic running, I’m having my mom already go to the first location I will be working with, and it’s really helping her strength, coordination, and social life even. She likes it, and it’s hard work so she’s kinda wanting to back out half the time. I can relate. :)
• If all goes to plan (haha), I’ll have that one clinic going this summer, and maybe another close to going by the end of the year!