When I did my calendaring experiment, I mentioned “coming up with a list of the general things that are most important to me to develop and maintain”, and referred to those key values again in dashboarding experimenting. Because …

Knowing the roles and characteristics you care about most is core – it can inform every decision and keep motivating you to take action to become the person you know you can be.

If you can’t rattle these off confidently or pull them up readily, please stop reading the rest of this, and go and do the following 90-second exercise right now.

1. Get pen and paper, or open a note app you use all the time.
2. Take 60 seconds to freely write the answer to this question:
   ==> How do you want people to describe you after you’re gone?
3. Set a recurring reminder to check in and update this regularly, at least quarterly.

To continue to develop this into a super effective prioritized list, there are so many resources available. Believe me, I know – I’ve tried so so many of them. And I regularly get intrigued to try more when I come across other ones – they can be so addicting! (They can also be overwhelming and trigger shame for me, oddly enough, so I remind myself to only stretch from a rather comfortable state, not one where I’m already stretched or hurting)

If you want to and are ready to explore more, check out some of the resources I used, listed in no particular order and provided by me without prompting or reward:

• The Big Picture – I have had my big picture list for so many years, and I honestly cannot recall at all now where I got the idea. I googled it to see if anything looked familiar and found Ed Batista’s post – I can’t claim for sure that I got this idea from him, but it’s close enough. The way I remember it was having someone ask me or listening to a podcast asking if I’ve ever considered what my obituary would read, and using that as a motivator to come up with a short list (10-15 words) of characteristics that I want to define me. That list for me is what pulled me out of running mainly on autopilot, and helped me start to deliberately steer myself more, a little here and a little there.
• The Four Maps – I wish I could remember who recommended this very small workbook to me so that I could thank them! While the visual maps I created from it are “interesting” to look at, they themselves aren’t as useful to me as a visual aid because I’m likely not a visual learner type. What I absolutely treasure is the content from the worksheets that you complete to fill in the maps. And these exercises can easily be repeated over time, so I come back to it often and use this as a key tool.
• (Available to high achieving women) Kate Byars’s Corporate Women Unleashed program is incredible beyond words. They work with you to create your map of priorities and strategies across their list of seven common core needs. I went through this program almost five years ago, and not one month goes by that I don’t pull my latest version of that map out and update it. This single map set me on a course that really helped me take control of my runaway life.
• One-on-one coaching – Jen Akullian was my first 1-1 coach in 2018, and the tools she taught me got me unstuck and MOVING. Her no-nonsense and extremely simple approach left me with things I still recall and use daily. Since then, I’ve also had the pleasure of working with Steve Eldredge and Hyo North extensively. Beyond 1-1 coaching, I also had additional spot sessions with Mandy-Marie, reiki with Jennie McClaws, group coaching from Jody Moore and minimalista study from Shira Gill. Bottom line, I always want a coach on my team to help me find and let go of traits I’m unknowingly holding onto, and making space for me to figure out what is next for me and how to get there.
• My own research – Google “desirable traits” or such. Enjoy wherever that leads you.

Ultimately, though, you need to take whatever resources you will and make your own map that taps into your wisdom and works for you. And to keep it working for you, schedule time with yourself to review it and update it, and figure out next steps to reach the presently mapped destination more and more. It doesn’t matter if the destination changes, either, because it’s the process of becoming that ultimately matters. It’s who you are along the way to it that counts.

And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it forever: the retro is the only meeting worth having. And it applies to you as well – be sure to meet with yourself and figure out what you want to keep, stop, and start – according to your map.

P.S. Pro tip: Only have one map. If you are working on another one, come back later and consolidate it with your primary map, making sure that map covers all aspects of your life.